“Be Still! And Know, I AM.”

I’ve been reflecting a lot about the inherent need for us humans to connect intentionally, with reverence, to share space together. Whether it’s a singing circle, or music night or yoga class; What is it that draws people to come together, to observe their connection to the infinite, amongst others?

Coming together in sacred space, was always done by the indigenous peoples; intricately woven into all aspects of daily life. Alongside the moments of quiet reflection alone, there is something about the collective/ communal space that invites another aspect of our being to come to the fore. As we collectively move through this narrow birthing portal, as we all are, like it or not, we are being squeezed in ways like never before. We are all walking through the landscape of the unmet parts of self, the forgotten parts, the denied parts, the broken parts; and this is what we see reflected on the world stage, the inner experience personally, is seen in the outer world collectively.

So it is up to all of us, in our own sweet humble lives, to come to that place where instead of turning away and running from the inner turmoil, we turn and face it, to see the truth as it always is and always was. We are lights of consciousness, anchoring the truth ( not your truth or my truth , but the TRUTH) through the portal of our physical body. As we begin to face the shadows within, not running from but walking into, we learn what it is to be a spiritual warrior. We don’t need any special powers or magic tricks. We just meet it. We hold ourselves through the discomfort, through the unease. We do nothing in that space. We learn that we can hold it all. We remember that it is a dream, we are the dreamer AND the dream. In that place of non-reactivity, of not trying to dissipate the pain, by numbing or by leaking our energies in purposeless pursuits, something arises. The knowing of how simple it really is. We drop in, from surface mind, to embodied experience. And sometimes doing this alone is very hard. Coming together in the sacred places and spaces, gives us that opportunity to experience directly; we really are not alone on this journey.

We are alone but, we’re not alone … it’s the greatest paradox.

Part of the reason I started “holding space”(and even this term has been overused to the point of cliché) was that yearning for the shared tuning in, with as little formality as possible. We can never sort out everything in our inner and outer lives in one conversation, yoga practice, medicine circle, or counselling session. However these practices can certainly help us recalibrate to the truth within. With so many distractions, (and more and more every day) coming at us from all directions, the holy spaces help us strengthen or flex the “Be still” muscle.

So, when we are alone and feeling the feels, we remember our shared truth, and we realise, this is everyone’s challenge, that we have to meet OURSELVES; holding ourselves, over and over and over again. We haven’t learnt this from the world that’s for sure! And we’ve come down the generational pathways of parents and grandparents who also were unable to do this most sacred thing.

There is a biblical phrase

“Be Still, and Know, I AM God”

It’s a particularly evocative invocation for me.

It’s the call to presence, inner presence.

When we can still the busy mind and draw our focus within, to truth;

and when that note rings within, clear and true,

We remember who we are

We are God

We are co creating

Beyond the worldly dream

I AM God/Goddess

I Am all of creation

We are waking up collectively from the deep sleep of the worldly DreamSpell.

Every moment no matter how difficult, there is choice.

A choice to give up and numb

Or stand up and walk towards

… this is my work, each and every day, each and every breath.

Keep going

It truely is a life’s work

The transformed life of a facebook fugitive….

Today it is the thirteenth day of the first month of the Gregorian Calendar. That is the calendar followed by most of the world today, but it’s interesting to note there are many other calendars that are adhered to the world over. For instance, according to the Gregorian Calendar, we are in the year 2023. However, in the Balinese Saka Calendar, we are in the year 1945. The Ethiopian Calendar says we are in the year 2015, the Hebrew Calendar, 5783. The Hindu Vikram Samvat Calendar has us found somewhere in 2079-2080.

This musings bring perspective to me of the reality that we are simply Here. Now.

But, for relativity, (back to our Gregorian masters), and this current date/time/place; on December 4th, 2022, 5 weeks ago or thereabouts, my facebook page was apparently hacked, amidst some confusion and uncertainty as to what exactly happened, with the upshot of this being, I have lost all my activity on facebook, including my personal page, along with 3 business pages. Those being, my “Yoga in Mylor” facebook page, my “Hearthplace Cacao” facebook page and my “Adorn Felt Finery” page, from my felting and Stirling Market days.

I also lost, as part of the hacker’s cache, my facebook messenger account, and my Yoga in Mylor Instagram page. All gone, VAMoosh! into the virtual stratosphere. Will I find them again? I know not.

When it initially happened, I thought I’d perhaps had my account restricted due to the somewhat topical aspects of some of the points-of-views I shared. But after realising the regular routes of dispute were unavailable, and all access into the ‘Meta-world’ were frozen, I quite readily accepted this new reality. Meta had done me a favour. Time to exit, this particular, Matrix.

So for the past 5-6 weeks, coinciding with this ‘festive/ reflective’ time of year, I’ve realised that, at least for the time being, I will do without the dreaded facebook world and all it’s “acroutements”. To be honest, I haven’t missed it at all, but it has made me wonder about how I would be able to stay in contact with my audience, my community, those of you who have been regular students, retreat and gathering attendees. How to let my people know, I’m still HERE! ……just not….there….

Three years ago, when things got decidedly ‘spicy’ in the world, I realised the direction social media was heading, and I saw the need to become free of the convenience of what facebook is. As much as it was useful, keeping me up to date with world events, maintaining my connection with far off friends and associates, I have always known it is being used as a control, surveillance and censorship tool, creating a profile; a social credit rating, that I, contributed to knowingly.

So time to break the cord so to speak. I’ll be rehashing my email lists and begin the slow process of connection and creation beyond the Meta world. I still offer all that is here on my webpage. I commence regular yoga classes in less than a week, and there are offerings in their early formation, that will be appearing February and March.

If you are reading this and would like to be added to my mailing list, please drop me a line here: https://www.samanthagoodburn.com/contact-1

Moving forward into this so called, 2023 year, I see the importance of keeping it very real and very grounded. Less plugging in to this virtual reality and more digging deeper into what is real in our lives. Face to face, skin to skin connections…..and when I say skin, I’m not talking about rubbing skin together! Putting more of our attention and energy into the breath of our life. The inhale and the exhale. Meeting ourselves first, and from that place, sharing our essence with others.

More quietness

Less noise

Deeper slower breaths

knowing our connection with our Mumma Earth

Her Body. My Body.

“keep quiet

Do your work in the world but inwardly keep quiet.

Then all will come to you.

Do not rely on your work for realisation,

It may profit others, but not you.

Your hope lies in keeping silent in your mind and quiet in your heart.

Realised people are very quiet”

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Be Still in the Void

Well, its been about a month since I last posted a blog here and a lot has happened for me. Life is unfolding at the speed of light these days, every minute a new unfolding, a new challenge, lifetimes inverting, collapsing and falling apart, recalibrating and realigning and somehow finding myself again. Life feels like a continual pulling myself back together, starting anew; breathing myself back to my centre.

Wagga-Wagga - “Place of many crows”. There were crows. and a big Army base. An even bigger river, the Murrumbidgee, and lots of sprawling, regional suburbia, sub-developments, roundabouts, Bunnings, Spotlights, Aldi’s…everything was familiar, and yet…..

We left Mylor at 5.08am, myself, Eden, Levi and Buddy our 7 month old kelpie x goodness knows what, and began the day long trip. We’ve done lots of road trips me and the lads, so, now, being older, they were prepared for the arduousness of this particular trip. But the goal at the end overcame all discomfort: we get to meet a new family member, our darling baby Violet.

The trip was mostly uneventful, travelling most of the way doing around 120kmph, the last couple of hours coming upon a truck that literally lost a tyre in front of us, exploding rubber and metal going everywhere for the next 15kms, I’d often have to dodge great chunks of tyre, the semi-driver just kept on rolling on minus one of his many tyres. A learning curve for me, as I didn’t realise trucks can just keep on going even with a missing tyre.

(by the way its bloody cold here

its the 23rd of September and I doubt we’ve had a day over 22 yet. cold damp and dreary. tomorrow is looking brighter and lighter….but only to be followed by more damp and cold. so much for climate change/global warming/whatever they’re calling it now…..)*edit. 15/10 now, and its only just starting to actually warm up consistently)

We made good time arriving at Wagga Wagga at almost 4pm, NSW’s time. The first thing I had to do was go to the loo, running past the baby “Sorry” straight to the bathroom.

How can I describe meeting my Granddaughter for the first time? It’s like world’s colliding. Two souls meeting, years apart in physical years, but inexorably linked by love and blood, skin and soul. Meeting Violet, for me, was a softening and deepening into who I am, as a direct reflection of who she is. So full and yet so empty. Empty of the density of this world. So Light and delicate. Complete in who she is and how she expresses. It felt like being in the presence of true royalty. A great honour.

We walked every morning for long meanderings, her in the sling, Buddy on the lead. Through the outskirts of Wagga, and on the third morning we walked to the river which was stunning. The Murrumbidgee. Strongly flowing after much rain throughout the entire eastern sea-board of Australia for many months. Beautiful country. Dropping into the indigenous pulse and rhythm as I walked with her close to my heart.

“Here we are little one, together, after a long wait; I am your protector on all dimensions, but especially here. I’m here whenever you need me. Holding you in the presence and protection of the unseen forces, the angelic realm, to always watch over you…….” Well met Violet!

We stayed in my son and his partner, Kaelie’s Army rental property, which was really comfortable and easy. Being away from my usual surroundings and duties pushed me internally into yet another self evaluation, resulting in the split decision to start combing out all my dreadlocks.

Which was shocking and necessary all at once. A great relief as I would get to the end of each separate lock, as if I was setting my scalp free. This was about six weeks ago as I write this and my hair is still in recovery.

So, becoming a Grandma, for me, has meant letting go, and releasing a lot of beliefs and survival strategies that I no longer need. Letting go of my youth, and carrying a lighter load, in which to meet my future, into “Elder”, and all that implies.

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Where do I begin? How bout, right HERE…

My first Blog… a diary of sorts. I’ve thought about doing this for ages. But what to write? I ask myself. The answer comes immediatly.. Exactly where you are right now. So…I shall begin.

I’m sitting here on my lounge, dog at my side, its 7.20pm on a Saturday evening in late August. The fire is going, dinner has been eaten and the dishes are done. My husband has retired to his end of the house and my boys have done the same. We’re all home tonight. And all is feeling calm and homey. I love this time of night when we all retire to our evening focus. Marty will often play music, practicing his pieces. I will catch up on the latest social media biz or work on my own projects. The boys will watch movies or game, chat with friends…or go out and hang with them.

In a few days time, Eden (19), Levi (16), one of our dogs, Buddy (6 months), and yours truely, will be packing the Holden Commodore wagon, and head east, TEN HOURS, to visit our newly born family member, Violet Gillian Goodburn. Born at around 7.30am, NSW time, on Tuesday the 16th of August, my little Leo Granddaughter.

I can’t wait to meet her.

The family lineage is so rich and diverse.

The mind boggles.

On my morning walks with my dogs I’ve been thinking, “right, so she’s a quarter of my ancestry, so she’s got my parents and grandparents in there, my sons father’s lineage, and Kaelie’s (her mum) parents and grandparents and so on and on, weaving backwards through the generations…..

And here she is, arrived earth side safely and beautifully.

looking like the Indian princess that she is

(Kaelie’s grandfather was full Indian, who migrated to Canada in the 50’s…)

So back to the present and baby Violet…

I simply can’t wait to meet her. Did I mention that already?

Be Still my beating heart and be patient.

Grandmother is coming sweet baby…

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I’m turning 55 shortly, the 15th of September to be exact. It sounds like the perfect age to become a Grandmother, and it certainly challenges my notions of how I’d like to identify in the world - an ageless beauty, “You! A Grandma!” you know, disbelief that I could be old enough to be a Granny. It’s made me accept something I’d often like to deny…Yep! I’m getting older. I’ve been here a while. The gray hairs are for real and I decided five years ago to let them come. Bring it on.

But some days I don’t want it. I’ve been feeling challenged by ALL of it lately. The state of the world. Waking up and feeling shitty and tired. Seeing my reflection in the mirror and thinking…Yeah, I do look 54. EVERY. SINGLE. YEARS. WORTH.

But those feelings pass. And I realise that within, I’m still my 5 year old self, My 18 year old self, My 35 year old self. It’s all in there. And putting this website together has been something of a reflection of all that I’ve traversed. I’ve lived an incredible rich and diverse life. I’ve been blessed with good health and good genes. I’ve followed my heart and my gut. I’ve walked paths less travelled. I’m blessed with three healthy sons, a wise, deep, soulful, spiritual husband who has a fierce nature, and tells it how it how it is, but who also loves me with that same fierceness, and would protect me and our sons til his last breath I absolutely know this.

And now the next generation comes

Its so normal and Natural, but also feels unreal.

Like…..really?

So in 4 days time, we’ll get up painfully early, and leave while its still dark. Hopefully I don’t have a last minute stress attack, and hopefully I sleep deeply. And drive the 10 hours to Wagga Wagga in New South Wales. See my beautiful son and his wife, and meet my little Granddaughter and hold her and just be with her.

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